Monday, May 2, 2011

Can't Sleep

the tortures of the mind plague me tonite. no job, no money, my art is fading due to stress. it feels like my thesis all over again, well almost... at least then i had a high paying job.i was also happier than ever with my art and work, looks like that party is well over and done with.

my credit is wack due to defaulting student loans. the loans, as i was told by sallie mae services, are what is causing me to be less than valuable in the work force for hiring and yet they still crawl up my ass for $700/month payments.

the love of my life has an incurable lung disease, that of which doctors have no treatment for. i am being looked down upon for trying to take care of her and ease the stress of not being able to breathe correctly, how the fuck is that a bad thing again? i was raised to be honorable to my family and loved ones, so i cant get even a job at mcd's, at least i'm here for my loved ones no matter what.

i always thought that real happiness in life were the simple things;the smell of flowers freshly budding in the spring. the twinkle in a lovers eye when they see you in the morning as they awake. but not in today's society, heavens no. in the new world money and credit reign supreme. gone are the days of simple happiness and to that i say FUCK YOU.

i love who i am and what i do. i love the little things, and if i happen to piss people off for it then so be it. shame that the whole world cant feel the same.

now i'm not seeking pity, just advise. if there is anyone out there who is reading this i need advise, i need help...i need sleep.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Finally back on this, been an insane few years since I've been on. expect more posts as i continue to figure this out all over again.



...until then...